


Wishing for Courage

by DesertVixen



Category: Baby-Sitters Club - Ann M. Martin
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-31
Updated: 2015-08-31
Packaged: 2018-04-18 05:57:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4694654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DesertVixen/pseuds/DesertVixen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mary Anne wishes she could be brave enough to act on her dreams...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wishing for Courage

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SaraJaye](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaraJaye/gifts).



That trip to Sea City had been full of firsts for Mary Anne Spier.

Her first long trip away from home, without her father or Kristy.

Her first bikini. Mary Anne had been completely shocked when her father had allowed her to get a bikini. She hadn’t even planned to ask for one, but he’d brought it up himself. It had been an awfully big step, considering he had just let her take her hair out of braids and take down the Winnie-the-Pooh art on her bedroom walls. Even if she had still been pretty flat-chested, she had felt more grown up in it, rather than a one-piece. 

Her first real interaction with a boy as a BOY, and a very likable one at that. They had held hands in the Tunnel of Luv, and talked under the stars on the beach. Mary Anne had never forgotten Alex, even if the relationship had never gone anywhere serious. The next time she’d met Alex, she had been dating Logan, although she wondered if she would have been able to do that without meeting Alex first. 

More importantly, it had been the first time that Mary Anne had admitted to herself that she had a crush on Stacey McGill. 

Mary Anne had been in awe of Stacey’s sophistication since they met. She envied Stacey’s ability to wear stylish, funky stuff one day, then be turned out in something totally classic the next. Mary Anne was sure that even if Stacey had to wear the stuff Mary Anne’s father bought her, she would still look great. Stacey also had an easy, confident air around everyone that Mary Anne wished she could duplicate. It was different than Kristy’s brash fearlessness, or Claudia’s willingness to make everything she wore unmistakably Claudia. Stacey always seemed to know how to act in every situation, while Mary Anne either reverted to invisibility or tears. 

When they had stripped down to their bikinis on the beach, Mary Anne had been shocked at how much older Stacey looked. She’d known that Stacey actually had a shape, but seeing her expose that shape in a skimpy yellow bikini for the world to see had made Mary Anne feel like a little kid playing dress up. She hadn’t minded so much when she got sunburned and had to stay covered up. She simply couldn’t envision herself walking down the beach in something that small.

It had not been a perfect trip. Mary Anne had realized that Stacey was more interested in the hot lifeguard than anything else, including the job the Pikes had hired them to do. Things had improved by the end, when they had gone on the double date with Alex and Toby. The date had been fun, but the best part for Mary Anne had been the feeling of being grown-up, of being cool, like Stacey. 

She had never said anything about her realization to Stacey, of course – she had no idea what to say. After all, Stacey liked boys. Mary Anne liked boys. It would just make things uncomfortable, and Mary Anne hated when things were uncomfortable between her friends.

None of that made her crush on Stacey go away. So Mary Anne had pushed it away, wondering if she would ever have the courage to do anything about it.

*** ***

A lot had changed since eighth grade, but Mary Anne and Stacey were back in Sea City. The two of them had just finished their sophomore year at Stoneybrook High. Mrs. Pike had recommended Mary Anne and Stacey to a friend of hers, Mrs. Jordan, who needed a pair of helpers for a two-week vacation in Sea City with her seven grandchildren. Mary Anne had agreed to take the job, and she was looking forward to spending more time with Stacey. The two of them had gone to lunch before leaving on the trip, and Stacey had promised that she wouldn’t leave Mary Anne with all the work this time. 

After spending the last five days keeping seven kids who couldn’t agree on anything occupied, Mrs. Jordan had given them Saturday afternoon and evening off. Mary Anne felt like they had definitely earned their lazy afternoon on the beach. They had eaten dinner at a restaurant slightly more sophisticated than the Burger Garden (no mushrooms or waitstaff in animal costumes), and then gone to the boardwalk to enjoy themselves. They had played some of the games, flirted with some random cute guys, and had decided to ride the Ferris wheel.

Only to find themselves stuck on top of it.

It was one of the situations that Mary Anne had always envisioned as romantic. Sitting in the Ferris wheel car with someone she cared about, the fact that no one could bother you, especially on a clear night with the stars twinkling… as far as Mary Anne was concerned, it was better than agreeing to meet at the top of the Empire State Building. It was a wonderful location for a date.

Except she wasn’t on a date. 

She was sitting up here with one of her best friends, who didn’t know that Mary Anne had a crush on her. She couldn’t even imagine how Stacey would react if she leaned over and told her how she felt, especially not when she was this confused about it. 

She just could not stop wondering, could not stop building fantasy scenarios in her head where she would tell Stacey that she had never felt like this about another girl, where Stacey would blush and confess that she felt exactly the same way. That was always where they ended, as if her imagination didn’t want to think about all the ways things could go wrong.  


This was almost the perfect setting for one of those fantasies to become reality, with no one to interrupt, and only the stars and moon to see what happened. 

She just couldn’t make herself actually say the words, not now.

Instead, she settled for watching Stacey and building another fantasy in her head. Mary Anne wished courage was something one could simply acquire.

After a few minutes, the Ferris wheel began moving again, and Stacey let out a little sigh. “It was sort of nice being up here. I have a new appreciation for quiet after this week.”

“It was nice,” Mary Anne agreed. She was glad that she was the only one who could hear the voice in her head telling her how much nicer it could have been.

Maybe someday, she told herself. Maybe someday I’ll be brave enough.

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is the first time I've ever attempted a femslashy take on the BSC. I hope it scratched your itch for romantic moments on the ferris wheel. Mary Anne being very hesitant to go anywhere with this felt like the route she would take.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
